A SHORE SHAME

Run right out and get Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's masterpiece today. She begins her tour in Los Angeles to promote her first well, uh..... wait for it...novel. Let’s do the math, shall we? College Dropout earns (and I use that word loosely) $30,000 per episode , $20,000 per party and an average of $100 a minute for her time. Not to lecture, sing or dance but to fist pump, drink and party. She won't show up from less than $10,000 folks. Nope, there not even a New Jersey cousin hookup or tanning sorority discount. Sorry. This young lady admits she’s read two books in her 23 years on earth, yet she’s penned her experiences on the boardwalk in “A Shore Thing.”

It’s not that I am bothered by her take on life:

“I am tanned; I like being tanned, B***H”

“I feel like I’m gonna be like a tornado. I’m just gonna go from place to place like destroying it."

He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”

I actually find her mildly amusing. She's branded herself as outrageous, cute and funny. Someone thought that's worth a book deal. (Maybe I should write a book on my dog's gas or how to wash my hair without drying it out and see if it would sell) In fact, I LOVE the book cover! I just have a hard time understanding why people would be fascinated enough to actually pay $24 to read what she has to say. Clearly Snooki-ism’s are quite valuable. Believe it or not, I don’t usually have a stick up my rump. I’ll even admit, I’d love to interview the petite foul-mouth overnight sensation. Maybe real writers and television personalities can take tips from her on how to rake in the cash… with sass minus class. Happy New Year to my readers and a heartfelt "Good Job" to Miss Snooki! Hey... If you can’t join them, might as well congratulate them!